Memories Hidden

Memories Hidden

By: Gavin Warren

Standing by the side of the road, Patrick watched the cars go past, knowing what had happened here several years before. The smell of gasoline brought back memories of that day, one that would be stuck in his head for the rest of his life. He knew that it had been mostly his fault. It had been such a windy day that fateful winter morning. It was a day that he relived in his head much more than he wanted to. He was only 15 when it day happened. He and his friend Collin had just been goofing around on the side of the road, off to the side in the bushes where a car couldn’t see them. They were having fun throwing nice, well-packed together snowballs at the cars coming around the bend. They got a few horns to honk at them, even though the drivers couldn’t see them. Then it came. That one car he would always remember coming around the bend. It was a Toyota Camry, with a tan coat of paint. Collin tossed a nice packed snowball to him, and chuckled a bit, since this was such a good form of entertainment for them. Patrick leaned his arm back, and swung his arm forward, watching the snowball fly through the air, and, in the most unexpected turn of events, through the open window of the car. The cushioning yet cold sound of the snowball hitting the driver, and the immediate sound of brakes screeching and sliding on the icy and snowy road were noises that still rang in Patrick’s head years later. The car did not stop, and slid off of the road, and as it tried to turn to stop, it slammed full force into a tree on the driver’s side of the car. Patrick and Collin both froze, but knew they had to leave there as soon as possible.

 After the car had crashed, the two boys just stared at what they had done, and as Patrick turned back once more to look at the wreckage, he turned his head back towards where Collin was, to see him fast-walking away from the road, deeper into the forest, on his way out of there, not wanting to get caught. When the boys got back home, they discussed the situation, and both agreed to never tell anyone about it. Surprisingly, they were able to do so. It wasn’t until later that they both found out about the crash, and how the driver had been killed instantly upon hitting the tree. Yet, they were still able to keep things under wraps.

Now at 19 years old, Patrick still had the thoughts in his head, and had had nightmares about it the past several nights. He still saw Collin plenty, but Collin had done a good job of shutting it out of his mind. Patrick however, had not. It popped up at least once or so every other day. His way of coping with it was unorthodox, but he convinced himself that he had had nothing to do with the accident, and that it had been ice on the road. Of course, this belief would not last. He saw it so many times in his dreams; he knew it couldn’t have been ice. He knew that he hadn’t meant to cause this man’s death, yet he knew he couldn’t own up to what had happened.  As of now however, he was on his way now to a date with a beautiful girl, who he had met in the same writing class the other day at the community college they both attended. Her name was Julie, and she was one of the most beautiful girls that he had ever seen.

As he thought about the horrible day once again, since it crossed his mind at least several times a day (especially when driving on that specific road), yet he just kept suppressing the memory, he was on his way to a quaint little diner to meet up with Julie. He was happy to have something to take his mind off of that horrible event. She was a wonderful girl, and he was very happy that she said “Yes” to a date. He hoped that the date would go well. He smiled at the thought of the first memory and meeting he had with her. They were discussing their favorite James Bond movie, and having a very informative discussion about them, and who their favorite actor was for playing the famous 007 spy. Those movies were a big obsession of his, and it wasn’t often that he met someone who seemed to love it as much as he did. He wanted to get to know this girl even more. So, by the end of their first big conversation, he asked her out on a date. Julie giggled flirtatiously at the idea, and told him that she would love to. And with that, Patrick had a date with this wonderful James Bond-loving girl.

 Finally, after driving for about 10 minutes or so, he arrived. Once parked, he walked into the diner. Seeing Julie sitting there in the waiting area, he smiled. She looked beautiful with her brown eyes and black hair, and when she saw him, she smiled back. “Hey Patrick”, she said, “I’m glad you could make it, I’ve been looking forward to this.” Patrick had zoned out a bit once again, entranced by her beauty, and snapped back into reality when she finished speaking. “Me too, you look beautiful.” He replied. She smiled back, and she stood up, and went over to Patrick and gave him a big hug. As he felt her arms go around him, Patrick knew that he was happy. He knew that she was special. Something seemed different about Julie, like he knew her somehow from the past, but couldn’t figure out why. The look of her face reminded himself of a man, a man who looked similar enough to be related to her. However, he couldn’t put his finger on it with anyone that he really knew that looked like her. Just of a face, a face that stuck in his mind for whatever reason. For now, he just decided to shake off this idea. As the waitress directed them to their booth, Patrick hoped that this date would go well. He knew in his heart that he really liked this girl.  After being seated, they both ordered water and began to look at the menu. “So Julie was it a long drive to get here?” asked Patrick, eager to start chatting with this girl. She giggled a bit at this, and it appeared to Patrick that she was in a very good mood. “Well to see someone as cute as you, it didn’t seem too long. But I’m not too far from here. I drove that piece of shit car I have to get here.” “Oh nice, heh heh…” chuckled Patrick. “Which one is yours?” She pointed to a car between a red pickup truck, and a blue Honda Civic. Patrick’s jaw dropped at the sight of it. It looked nearly the same as the car from the incident. “Did…did you get it from your parents?” he asked, fearful of the answer. Julie blew one of her bangs out of her face, and her face became a bit more solemn at his question. “My mom got it for me, from the money that we got from…from….” she seemed to have a hard time uttering the last bit, “from my father’s car crash that killed him. He was on his way home to us, and he lost control on this one road and crashed into a tree on the driver’s side. He was…he was killed instantly. After his death, my mom was distraught, yet was eventually able to pull herself again for my two younger siblings and I. She ended up working two jobs, and we didn’t have much. At times, we didn’t have much around the house. Our relatives helped us eventually get back on our feet, but…but….I know living that way for several years of my life wasn’t good. I’m sorry for putting this all on you Patrick, I just…I just…miss him a lot… ” Patrick did his best to hold himself together after hearing all that. She had no idea that he was the reason her father hadn’t made it home that night, and that he was the reason for why she was upset right now. All these years he had been reliving those events in his head, not realizing that this man he had watched die was this poor girl’s father. He couldn’t imagine what it would have been like if she could see into his mind, and watch the clip on replay in his head. He had taken her father away from her, and he had no idea what to do or say. “I have to go to the bathroom. Be right back”, he said as he stood up to leave, and walked past her, patting her on the shoulder in order to comfort her, even if it was just a small amount.

He fast-walked into the bathroom and went to the sink. He turned the knobs, cupped some water in his hands, and splashed in on his face. “I can’t tell her….I just…I can’t let her know. It would destroy her. She was near tears already, and I don’t know how she will take it”, he muttered to himself. “I can’t do it…” he said once again. “Yes you can” said a voice. Patrick looked up, and saw a man in the mirror. He had short dark black hair, and brown eyes, the same color as Julie’s. Patrick knew who this man was. It was her father, her dead father. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. Patrick had been haunted by this ghost for years, but had no reason to talk to it till now. Whenever he had seen it before, he chose to just look away, until now, when he couldn’t take his eyes off of this man. “You must tell her what happened, young man”, Julie’s father said. “But…but…I can’t!” exclaimed Patrick. “I can’t bear to tell her that I’m the reason that you aren’t there!” The man walked closer to Patrick. “My daughter has been dealing with this pain for the past several years, and so has my wife. Tell her so she can finally move on. Do it for my sake.” He said, with a sad yet accepting look on his face. Patrick thought about what Julie’s father had said, staring down at the sink. “You’re right”, he said, “You’re right. I will tell…” he looked up and saw no one. Scared by what had just happened, he splashed a bit more water on his face, and left the bathroom.

            Sitting back down with Julie, Patrick knew what he had to do. He looked at her face, appearing to have been a bit bored since he had been gone. “Julie…there’s something important that I need to tell you”, he said in the most serious tone he could, even if he was still a bit terrified. Julie lifted her head up, eager to hear. “What is it Patrick?” she asked, in a very quizzical tone of voice, wondering what it could be. “I…I…I am the reason why your father didn’t make it home that night. I was throwing snowballs at cars with my friend a few years ago on the side of Ridgewood Road, the one that leads to this diner; I think you know what I am talking about. A...a…anyways, so…I threw a snowball, and your dad’s window was open, and it hit him, and….and…it caused him to crash. I’m so sorry, Julie. I was foolish and young then, and I know I can never make up for it. But…now that I found out who he was to you, I just had to tell you. I had to.” He said, finishing his speech. He looked at Julie, curious with how she was taking the news. Her eyes were welling up with tears, and she looked like she was about to start sobbing, until all of a sudden, her face shifted to a face of pure anger instead. “YOU? YOU’RE THE REASON WHY MY DADDY NEVER MADE IT HOME THAT NIGHT? BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID “BOYISH ANTICS”, I WAS LEFT WITHOUT A FATHER, CAUSING MY MOM TO WORK FULL TIME, AND CAUSING ME THEN TO HAVE TO RAISE MYSELF? AS WELL AS CAUSING THE LIVES OF MY SIBLINGS TO BE JUST AS SHITTY? YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN JUST APOLOGIZE LIKE THAT, AND TAKE BACK ALL THE PAIN YOU HAVE UNKNOWINGLY CAUSED ME THESE PAST FEW YEARS? FUCK YOU PATRICK! FUCK YOU TO HELL AND BACK AGAIN. I HOPE YOU SUFFER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH THIS GUILT, OR BETTER YET, I HOPE YOU ROT IN JAIL, YOU FILTHY PIECE OF SHIT!!!” With a very forceful swing of her hand, she smacked Patrick across the face with all the strength she could muster with this anger. It felt like he had been punched in the face instead of a slap for Patrick, and it took him a while to register it, just long enough for him to realize her dumping both glasses of ice cold water on his head. He didn’t see her leave, but he knew she had gone. Once he had gathered himself together, with all eyes in the diner on him, he got up, and walked out of the diner. Her car was already gone, but he knew that she had been there by his car with all the clear dent marks left in the side door and back of the car. He climbed into his car, turned on the ignition, and started driving home.

            He made himself go back down that road where it had all happened. He was just about to turn around the bend, when he saw what he wasn’t expecting. Several cop cars, an ambulance, and Julie’s car, slammed into a tree. It looked just like her father’s crash, and for a moment, he thought it was, until he saw the paramedic open the passenger side door, and pull out ever so slowly, a lifeless body with long black hair. Patrick just about lost it at this moment, seeing the girl who’s life he had ruined now over and now a lifeless corpse, but was able to hold himself together just a bit longer, long enough to make it to the cop car. He opened the door to the back of the cop car, and was just about to climb in, when a cop stopped him. “Hey boy! What are you doing?” he bellowed. “Going where I belong.” Said Patrick, as he climbed into the cop car and closed the door. He was just about to start sobbing when he felt a presence on both sides of him. He thought it was cops, but when he looked up, he instead saw two people. It was a man and a girl who looked similar enough to be father and daughter. It was Julie and her father. They both just looked straight head, and said nothing. Patrick knew what they were. Their ghosts, doomed to haunt him forever, no matter where he went. And with this realization, he began sobbing.

A Hospital Visit

Hospital Visit

I am in the hospital. It is a place I am quite familiar with. I am only about 5 or 6 years old. There are many hospital beds near me. I see other people lying in beds as well. I look to my left and I see a doctor, smiling at me, and talking to someone to my right. I look. It’s my mom and dad. I am happy to see them again. I just woke up a bit ago, and what I can remember is being is in a room with a bunch of doctors a while back. I had a needle in my chest, and they had just put “milky medicine” in it.  I don’t know why, but I don’t remember what happened. Why would that be? The milky medicine being injected in is the last thing I remember. It felt calming and then I closed my eyes. Anyways, back to my parents and the hospital bed. They have the things I look forward to after these, what I think are called….spinal taps? I don’t know. I’m always excited for them because I get things from my parents afterwards. Ooh, there they are! The gifts! They are small boxes of sugary cereal, usually Froot Loops, and Pokémon cards. I’m excited to see them. My parents are happy to see me smiling and awake. I give them a hug and a kiss. It is nice to see them. I know why I am here, but not what the spinal tap was for. I have leukemia. My parents take me here a lot to help me feel better. I like the nurses and doctors that I have met. The one to my left is very familiar to me. I remember her in the room with all of the other doctors. I wonder when the next operation like this will be. I don’t get sugary cereals or Pokémon cards too often, especially since I usually only get enough money for Pokémon cards. I hope it’s soon.

Lost in an Empty Wasteland - Chapter 1



Chapter 1: Starting Over

    Grant stared out between the cracks of the wooden bars shielding the broken window, waiting for his friend Kevin to return. He had been gone a while now, looking for supplies. In this new world they were living in, they were necessary for survival. Whether it be a few bullets, or even just a bit of edible food, anything was worth it. After the world went to absolute hell due to the outbreak, everyone scattered across the nation to escape the infected that used to be humans who now plagued the land. It was just him and Kevin now. He hadn't seen any other familiar faces in months now, but hoped if he did, that they weren't trying to bite his face off or rotting on the ground. Then the door opened. He turned quick, with his double barrel shotgun in his hands, aiming at the door. A boy wearing glasses walked in, holding three small boxes of shells and bullets, as well as two cans of beans. He had short brown curly hair, with brown eyes to match. He jumped when he saw the shotgun pointed at him, and dropped what he was carrying. "Oh..." said Grant, "It's just you Kevin. Damn it dude, don't scare me like that!" Kevin gathered himself back together, and responded, "Sorry man, I forgot. On the bright side, look at all of the stuff that I got!" He tossed the small boxes of shotgun ammo to Grant, who caught them with ease. "Thanks Kev, I needed these." Kevin smiled, and reloaded his pistol. "No problem", he said, "Oh hey, I noticed something out there that neither of us have seen in quite some time." Grant looked up, interested to hear what news he had. "And what is that exactly?" He said, to one of the few people left that he knew were still alive. "Activity", said Kevin,"By the old building that resembles some sort of dining hall. There are infected going towards it. But something is pushing them back."

    "Molly, are you sure this is a good idea?" said Natasha. "What are you talking about? Of course it is!" said Molly, holding a sniper rifle, pointed out the window of a small little shack they had managed to build. The gun was pointed at what appeared to be a scavenger, in the area obviously to find some supplies. But in this new day and age, people lived by "survival of the fittest", and rarely stuck around with big groups for a long period of time. "If you kill him, who knows if there are others around? You could be drawing them right towards us!" scolded Natasha. Molly chuckled at Natasha's worry. "Relax, everything will be fine. Even if there are more, I can just take them out, one by one." she said, brushing her dirty brown hair away from her eyes. With her hazel eyes, she looked down the scope of her sniper rifle once more, aiming carefully at the scavenger's head. With her finger on the trigger, she was ready to end this filthy scavenger's life. All of a sudden, she heard a scream. But it wasn't coming from inside. It was coming from outside, and just off a ways away from the scavenger. It was a another girl, one whom Molly didn't recognize, with hazel eyes and dirty blond hair, running towards the scavenger. When the girl was in closer range to the scavenger, she yelled, "Run! They're after us!" The scavenger didn't wait to ask her from what, and just ran after her instead. "We have to help them!" exclaimed Natasha. Before Molly could respond, they heard a loud knocking at their door. They heard the sound of the locked door handle trying to be wriggled open. Without a word, Natasha ran over, unlocked the door, and swung it open. The girl and the scavenger dove in. Landing with a nice thud, the two stood up and froze. It was at that moment that Natasha and Molly realized who they were. "Amy...Derek...we thought you were dead!" said Natasha. It had been a few years since the two had seen anyone they had known before the world had changed, and it was a shock but a delight as well. "Well clearly we're not, which is definitely a relief, considering all those dead bodies outside look positively revolting." said Derek. He was the comical type, always trying to bring a bit of humor to situations that needed it. With his short dark brown hair and a short beard to match, Derek went over to Natasha, and gave her a hug. The other girl, Amy, was still a bit shocked. She wasn't expecting to see two of her old friends, let alone anyone that wasn't trying to kill them. "So...you're alive..." said Amy to Molly. "Yeah...how about that?" said Molly, with a slight laugh. "So have you seen anyone else since the infection started?" asked Amy, curious if there was anyone else out there, anyone at all whose minds hadn't been infected. It was hard enough surviving with just Derek and herself. Now that they had found two old friends of theirs, people that they had been close to before the infection, it was a whole new situation. She had more than just Derek and herself to look out for, since it only made sense for them to stick together. 

    All of a sudden, a loud noise was heard from outside. The sound of infected. "You brought them here??" whispered Molly loudly to Amy and Derek, looking towards the door the two had come in from, waiting for it to burst open. "Well that wasn't really our plan, we were actually trying to get away from them, but I guess that didn't work.", said Derek. Amy turned towards Derek, and glared at him. "This isn't the time for jokes Derek! What are we going to do??" Molly was just about to speak, when the sound of several gunshots went off outside. The groaning and feral voices of the infected had gone, and now all they could hear was footsteps, and then the sound of the butt of a gun, pounding itself against the door, clearly wanting to get inside. It was clear that whomever, or whatever, was coming in, and none of them could stop it.

   "You sure this is the place?", Grant asked Kevin. "It doesn't look like a place that people could survive in." He gestured towards the broken down building, with part of the roof caved in. There was debris everywhere, and it was clear that it would be a bit hard to enter. Kevin responded, "I'm telling you Grant, I saw infected going in here, and none of them came out. If we find any alive ones in there we will take them out, and maybe we can even find some more supplies in there." He was right. Since there was such a minimal amount of usable supplies left in their hideout, let alone the rest of the world, they took what they could get. The two boys made their way up to what looked like an opening, under two big chucks of rubble that had clearly fallen off the building. They both ducked underneath, and made their way in. Finding a door, Grant and Kevin stood with their backs against the wall, ready to open the door, and fire at any infected that came out if they needed to. The two nodded to each other, and Grant pulled the door open quick, both of them pointing their weapons inside the building. "No sign of infected." said Grant. "Well whoever's in here is doing a good job of making sure there aren't." said Kevin. The two walked slowly into the building, which was poorly lit, and made their way in. 

     As the boys made their way in, they noticed something. For a place that was messy and whatnot on the outside, the inside looked pretty solid. The exterior of the building was falling apart, but the inside was still sturdy. The boys entered a decent size room, and out of the corner of Kevin's eye, he spotted a small pile of ammo and supplies. "Grant look, whoever was here left their supplies. More for us then!" he said with a smile. He made his way over there with a smile on his face. Grant followed him over, a bit curious however as to why a pile of ammo would just be sitting there so nicely in that spot. "Unless...", he said to himself. He had no time left to continue, as he watched Kevin pinned against the wall by a figure, who's face he couldn't see due the rooms poor lightness. He went over to help, but before he knew it, a smaller figure jumped at him, grabbing him by the shoulders and sweeping his leg out, causing him to fall and drop his gun. Before he knew it, he was pinned to the ground, with this mysterious person on top of him, with a small dagger pressed up against his throat. "Who are you?" the voice asked Grant. "Why are you here and how did you get in here?" said the other voice to Kevin. "Our names are Grant and Kevin, and we aren't too far from here. We were just checking this place out!" stated Grant. While it was true they shouldn't just give themselves away like that, they weren't really in a position to argue. "That's a lie. We knew two people named that, and there's no way you two are them. We haven't heard from them since the infection. Who are you really?" said the person on top of Grant. "No seriously! It's us!" shouted Kevin. "Wait..." said the person on top of Grant, as they leaned a bit closer towards his face. The person pulled out a small object, and pointed it at his face. A light suddenly shone on his face, and Grant now realized it was a flashlight. At the moment, they both froze. Grant recognized who this was. It was Jennifer, his closest friend before they had been separated by the infection happening, causing everyone to scatter. Her hazel eyes and dirty blondish hair were as distinctive to him as they had always been, and he couldn't believe that this girl was her. "Jen!" "Grant!", they both said to each other, standing up and hugging each other tight, so happy to see each other. At that time, the figure pinning Kevin against the wall, moved back too. "Kevin, is that really you? It's me, Rose!" she said. After a big hug, Rose went over and opened the dirty and dusty, yet still working blinds on a window, letting some light in. The four of them now made their way over to two couches by the window, and sat down. Grant next to Jen, and Rose next to Kevin. "So how have you guys been?", said Rose, clearly interested in hearing how her two old friends were holding up. She had blue eyes and dirty blond hair like Jen's, but a bit darker shade. "Pretty good, we have our little outpost a short ways away from here. We have some supplies there that we all probably could share once we go back.", said Kevin. "And after that, we are abandoning it.", said Grant. "Wait, what?", said Kevin, with a surprised look on his face, turning towards Grant. "Think about it. We found you two, and who knows how many of the others from our old friend group are still alive out there? We need to go looking for them. We can survive longer if we work together.", stated Grant. He was very glad to have found these two, but it was clear now to him that he and Kevin couldn't spend the rest of their lives, however long they may be, in that tiny little place they lived in. "You make a good point. Besides, a bit more ammo and supplies may make things easier, Rose.", said Jen, cuddling up next to Grant for a bit of warmth. Rose pondered on this for a moment, and finally answered. "It would be nice to see more familiar faces, and I have heard bits of info of sightings of other people around here. Maybe it's them." Kevin added, "Although, it could be scavengers who would kill anyone that's not familiar to them, or just for the hell of killing. Either way, this is gonna be dangerous. We do need to leave, now that I think about it." Grant smiled at this. Things were coming together. "It's settled then. We leave in the morning, go to our little outpost, gather our stuff, and start exploring. Sound good to you guys?" The others nodded, and with that, the four discussed and reminisced late into the night. 

     Finally, exhausted, most of them went to bed. Grant however, sat on the couch looking out the window. Outside the window was the empty and barren wasteland he had come to know. Destroyed buildings and decaying bodies were just a few words to describe the mess of what he could see outside the window. "And tomorrow we leave to explore it..." he said to himself. He closed the blinds, and then grabbed a small blanket that the girls had found for him, and covered himself with it as he laid down on the couch. He was happy to have found a few of his old friends, yet was also worried about what would happen. He had lost several friends to the infection and scavengers, and he wasn't sure what he would do if he lost these guys. He knew now that he would just have to wait until tomorrow morning, and see what sorts of threats and obstacles they would come across tomorrow, exploring land that they knew nothing about. He closed his eyes, and finally slowly drifted off to sleep.